Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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