I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
