he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize