My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We talked him into tasing himself.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
