Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
