Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
