I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
