My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize