I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
