You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
