her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
