This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
