I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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