Whod you bang
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
