So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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