there's paper in my vomit.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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