I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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