Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
