Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
3 2 1 whiskey
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize