My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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