Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
