Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
