We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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