Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
