Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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