I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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