So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
