8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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