I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
