For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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