Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize