I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
