They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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