i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize