you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
