His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
