She's JV to your varsity
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
