i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
