I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize