i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
