Pants 0. Shit 1.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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