im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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