I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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