We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
