I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
