how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
