She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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