Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
