I think my vagina is haunted
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
