Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
