She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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