Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
