Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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