Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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