Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
