My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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