Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
