Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize