Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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