When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
