Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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