i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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