My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
